monstersA week or so ago in the news there was an article on Celebrity Mark Salling aka Noah  “Puck” Puckerman from Glee, he was arrested on child pornography charges. Oh the SHOCK.

I continued to read through the article completely unsurprised and completely aware that he probably did do whatever he’s being accused of because Pedophiles, they’re everywhere.
I get to the comments section, I see people making puns and jokes about it “What the Puck” or “Here’s what you missed on Glee” comments , I see people saying things like “Oh he didn’t look like a pedo” or “He seemed like a nice guy”.  Even a semi-reputable site called Mammamia’s facebook page that shared it made a “What the puck” pun in the byline, that is just fucking tacky.

So a few things.

1. This isn’t a time to joke, this is a man that watched videos and viewed photos of  children just like ours doing something sexual beyond their years. The trauma of that for years and years to come (if they ever get out of that life) will be devastating. This isn’t a joke, this isn’t a post about the 48 worst baby names ever or about Jennifer Lawrence ( I love you Jennifer)  getting another haircut.

2. Let’s stop assuming that Pedophiles look a certain way, people’s naivety to this really doesn’t surprise me, we are led to assume pedophiles are old or creepy, that’s just it. We forget that young men turn into old men. No one looks like a pedophile because pedophiles are essentially regular people with real problems. Handsome men that sing songs are not excluded.

But one thing that always gets me talking/ranting on the topic of pedophiles is the discussion I had with my mum and one that I have had with many others on Facebook. In this case my mum had written: “They should all be shot” (she is absolutely entitled to that opinion too).
It may or may not surprise you depending on how well you know me that I don’t believe this, while sometimes I would love to head on over to the Villains house that he shares with his mother and beat the shit out of his creepy old face and rip those fingers right off of his body, but really at the end of the day I think death for an offending pedophile is going too easy on them. I feel sorry for these individuals.
I don’t believe that anyone chooses to be a pedophile. Being a pedophile isn’t a choice in my opinion, I think that it must be either a sexual orientation or an incurable mental illness of sorts. If this is a sexual orientation, it by no means warrants the abuse that offending pedophiles inflict.
It becomes a problem when they take their attraction or orientation and force it on to a child or teen ultimately abusing them without them being even able to understand the situation they are in, that is a choice they make, that is a choice they should be able to control.
Abuse is abuse and I think Child sexual abuse can only be prevented and not cured. I mean why would you want to be a pedophile?

  1. It’s illegal.
  2. Everyone’s looking for you.
  3. It’s incredibly frowned upon.
  4. And it makes everyone hate you.
  5. It would be much easier to just be happy with being sexually attracted to adults than to risk it with kids if you could just choose not to be.

How is society supposed to deal with this?
Society obviously still doesn’t know.
How does society get over such a huge and horrible stigma to make the world a safer place for those being born with the mind of a pedophile?

Perhaps if the subject were not so sensitive and perhaps more openly and cautiously discussed (almost as though this ‘curse’ could happen to any child born into the world) then maybe men and women could come forward to a safe place with their attraction to children.
They could then receive the support they needed from the beginning? From those first moments they know that something about who they’re attracted to was different.
Could being taught how to control these urges even perhaps the option of (elected) chemical castration, be an option?
And if they do end up either resisting the urges or eventually act on the urges then really aren’t we back at the same place we were before?
Is there harm in trying? I don’t think so.
Maybe, just maybe the support a non offending pedophile received could have changed someone’s life and if it didn’t and they act inappropriately then at least we tried?
If they act on their urges, throw them in prison and be done with it.

However, having said all this, The Villain mentally scarred me like no one ever has and the repercussions of this on him have been zero in my case. He does not deserve death, death is too easy, death wouldn’t be punishment. Death is relief. And I do not believe he deserves it. He deserves no justice and no rehabilitation. Because I don’t think they can be rehabilitated. It will remain with them for their life just as what he did to me has and will remain in mine.
I have read somewhere along my travels on the world wide web that they (people in white coats and a hand full of statistics I’m guessing) think that a pedophile begins his/her life progressing through the normal changes in life and sexual development, until somewhere there the person’s brain stops the normal progression of sexual attachment towards people of his/her own age group. Which in turn causes the person to attach themselves to a certain age group for the rest of their life.
If this is true for most Pedophiles then you only imagine what it must be like to deal with? What could go wrong, what could occur if they lose control? What if they hurt a child because of such a ‘curse’ when they are otherwise a decent human being.
You couldn’t choose that, you wouldn’t. (However I absolutely know that there are just people who like to hurt people that will also abuse children).

As a society I think we might be going the wrong way about dealing with pedophelia, regardless of what you think it is, an illness, a mental disability, sexual orientation or just a sick mind. Surely there is a way to help these people be better people because these people are humans too.  If we tackle this at the roots as we do almost any illness then surely we could change the lives of at least a few hundred people by providing counselling and ‘Treatment’ before it becomes an irreversible problem? We could provide not only support for victims but victims of pedophelia (the illness) itself.

If Mark Salling had had the support he needed from the moment he had an attraction to children/preteens might he have found better ways to deal with his inappropriate attraction to begin with?
A person has to know the attraction is there from the beginning, the attraction doesn’t just pop up when they’re at the age ‘Pedophiles are supposed to be’ does it?
Imagine being a Teen like Mark Salling and realising you are one of them, one of those pedophiles, imagine hearing from your mother the awful things said about people just like you. But she didn’t know that you were one of them too.
You would hide from then on, you would be disgustingly ashamed and you could never ever seek help for something that seems so normal to you but a incredible disgrace to so many.

If you push something down, it festers, it becomes a deep bubbling painful roar and one day you can no longer hold it in. This is where I can only assume is where offending pedophiles go wrong.

Are we misunderstanding the problem we face with these “monsters”?

Lets start from the beginning.


2 thoughts

  1. Hi there,

    I’m studying an access to university course and were doing criminology. I loved reading your article. This is exactly my thought as regards to pedophile ..

    I’m going to do a presentation discussing is it an illness ? or are they a monster ?
    I really hope I can get my point across and even if they don’t see my point, hopefully they might think that these people don’t choose to be a pedophile.

    Thanks Kieley


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