Hai, I’m Neeks.

I am currently 32…almost 21, I am a survivor of sexual abuse, perhaps many would say I am an advocate for it even. I am very vocal about mental health and mental illness stigmas and all that comes with that. As I have been pretty severely effected by Depression, Anxiety and C-PTSD.
But I am all about the growth, and believe we are always growing. Surprising I know but as my kids say… “What? We grow until we die?” … yes my children, yes we do.

This is my blog, this is the very place that I posted my very first blog in June, 2015.
This is a great place.
This is the place I have spent the last few years pouring my heart into.
I have shared my inner most thoughts and desires here, my hurt and my shame here and as a result of that, we eventually created this adorable little community of people I consider friends.

I blog under the name of Adjust Remembered.
But have my hands in a few chocolate pies;
I am currently co-authoring a book which is a true-story of how two women connect over the internet after writing about their traumatic childhoods. Who despite the 13,000 mile distance between them, they become good friends, meet a couple of times and write a book together.

I also have a Comic Book in the works. It’s called ‘Estelle’ and I am the writer and the husband is the artist.

I am also growing 3 children, 2 dogs, 3 cats (-one minus a leg) and 3 chickens.

The Husband is Shaun, who is a working Musician and a psychotherapist.

I am Australian. But please keep that on the DL… I’m very ashamed of Australian politics.

I have a very dry sense of humour and I like chocolate.

I am very liberal in my openness and my honesty and I expect the same in return.

So please if you find yourself here, please respect the space I have created here.
And a pre-warning
Some articles and opinions of mine may be biased.
Some things I might get wrong sometimes.
I also might make spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.
I may not always agree with you.
You may not always agree with me.
We are only human.

But what ever you do. Don’t be a keyboard warrior.
And PLEASE use this space as a place to find friendship, enjoy some freedom, and make some time in your mind for contemplation.

-Neeks

I welcome you to my world with open arms as long as you can have an open mind.

 

 

 

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21 thoughts

  1. I’ve read through all the posts, and you are brave to put your stories and thoughts out on the big bad Interwebs. I really think you are on the right path, writing and digging up feelings that otherwise just fester in the subconscious. I myself have chronic depression, and from myself I know it sucks balls sometimes. That recurrent feeling of just saying “fuck it all – I give up”. It’s all part of the process you are discovering, and I think you are doing so very well.

    I haven’t been through an abuse like you have, so I can’t put myself in your place. Along the lines of Batman’s thoughts. But the anxiety and depression part of what you are experiencing I know.

    Last – but certainly not least. I love that through all these dark memories and the thoughts and feelings they bring to the table now, there’s humour shining through. Well in your writings anyway. Big hugs from me. Stay on the wobbly path you are on

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What a wonderful comment. Thank you so much, this made my morning. Your support means a lot seriously! Its so nice to know there are other people dealing with depressive states, and this is what blogging is great for, it creates a little community for us to feel safe and human. ❤

      Like

  2. I’m so glad you visited my blog so we could meet. Like many of us, you have a story of childhood sexual abuse. The aftermath can mess you up for life if you don’t get those stories out. I’d suffered depression for many decades before I made the decision to try blogging–to reach out to others. And now, my story has evolved into a memoir that’s coming out in a couple of months. I will never give up blogging. This is where I’ve found healing. Note, I didn’t say cure. Trust me, stick around, keep telling your stories how it’s affecting you, and you will see change. There are many of us here to support one another. I’m glad you’ll be part of this community. ~mandy ❤

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  3. Hello~ So… I found you from your husband’s cover of a Justin Timberlake song that was super badass and awesome. 🙂 I went to his youtube page, found the song dedicated to you (subscribed, obviously), and here I am. I have read your posts and… wow.. your story is really wonderful… Your writing inspired me thank you for speaking out. I am 21 and this gives me so much hope…. thank you. BTW your husband’s music is divine and I know your kids are going to be awesome. 🙂 Blessings from California. *sends prayer*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi 🙂 Thank you so much for following the trail to here. Adjust remembered has a facebook page too if you go there youll find my page 🙂
      Thank you so much for your lovely words, I love getting messages like this because it means I am on the right path. ❤

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  4. I stumbled upon your blog and I just had to stop by and say your creative writing speaks to me. The part where you describe the platform and the vine allowing her to crawl up and escape each night… Just amazing. Im part of Keep me Safe where, with the help of Erin’s law, providing education in schools about how to speak out and spot child sexual abuse here in CA. Each month I’m creating a new image based on a story of a survivor. (My cover photo using mannequins will give you an idea here: http://www.facebook.com/rootstowillowsphotography. I’d love to create that image of the platform with the vine to share and tell your story if that would be something of meaning to you. If so I’d love to hear from you rootstowillows@gmail.com

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi Antanika, I’ve found your blog through Restoring Hope. I found this quote somehow “The affects of their trauma will most certainly come back to haunt them, the only variable is when.” I’ve been trying to source the author to perhaps use it in a short film. All searches lead to your blog but I can’t seem to find it. Can you help? Amazing writing by the way.

    Vicki

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Vicki, How odd, as I don’t know if I used that in my blog but you are right it all leads back here which I have no idea why! Have you asked the ladies at Restoring hope? otherwise
      I can message them and ask

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  6. Hello. I am wondering if you ever confronted your mother or your stepfather about the abuse? I think that speaking up to the abuser (and the enabler of the abuser- your own mother whose very sacred job it was to at least protect you) can be very empowering- something you could not do as a child but perhaps can do now, as an adult. I apologize if you have already answered this in a blog post!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey 🙂
      I have. I see my mum on a weekly basis. She has many regrets, she said she always warned me about stranger danger but never about what could happen to me in my own home. My mum drank a lot and did a lot of drugs so was oblivious to what was going on. And my step father, well he thinks we should just get over it because it was a long time ago . :/ one day I’ll confront him to his face maybe. But I doubt that I’ll get the outcome that I need.

      But thank you.

      Like

      1. Thanks for answering my question! I am especially interested because I am about to attempt a conversation (2nd time) w/ a parent regarding them alienating me from my other parent. I also do not expect an apology or even acknowledgement of their part in this, but I have known for a long time that this is what i need to do anyway (and boy have I procrastinated- for decades!). But yes, I believe that we can sometimes find our needed outcomes w/out those conversations. Glad you are able to talk to your mum!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Haha, yes that ole procrastination. I know it well.

        Sometimes its just the speaking about it to clear your head despite their reactions is worth the healing for yourself. You know. Good on you hey!

        Like

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